Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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