And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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