i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My vagina is very pro this idea
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
