i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I love having hate sex.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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