I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
