Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
