But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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