There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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