So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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