Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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