Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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