Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
soo... how was my night?
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