i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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