omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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