If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
