Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
