he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
