So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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