didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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