nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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