oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
