Don't you send me to vm
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
