There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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