I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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