found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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