Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
