You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
