he thought i was a dude.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
