That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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