Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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