Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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