I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you traded sex for a burrito?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
