i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
two words: eviction party
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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