As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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