hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize