Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
