I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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