She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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