Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize