I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
