We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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