I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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