her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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