I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
