you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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