I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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