Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
