I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
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i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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