OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
