question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
