Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
