trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
