So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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