Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
