just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
