after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
