Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize