Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
