so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
