Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
high people should be assigned attendants
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
